The shirt reads: “OPOSSUM TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE” — THREAT? → HISS → DID IT WORK? → YES: LEAVE / NO: GO OFFLINE.
The boxes and arrows are drawn as a real decision tree, with a small opossum lying flat on its back beside the final box.
Both outcomes are the opossum’s actual defensive repertoire, in the correct order. Go offline is a considerably better description of playing dead than the technical term.
For the opossum constituency, for IT support, and for anyone whose two coping strategies are these exactly.
